Aloha Daze

Pearl Rough Around The Edges

Lately, I’ve had a itch that I can’t scratch: I’ve been wanting to go out to a local bar, and have a mai tai.

Over in the Ala Moana Shopping Center sits the Mai Tai Bar. Packed on a regular basis daily, and twice as much when they have the right band playing, it’s *the* place to hang out if you’re at Ala Moana.

Until now.

Now there is Pearl: A new nightclub that has opened at Ala Moana.

In fact, it’s just steps away from the Mai Tai Bar.

When I was at Ala Moana the other day, and wanted a mai tai drink, I walked [briefly] by the Mai Tai Bar. Packed, as usual, I just didn’t feel like dealing with the standing-room-only crowd.

So I thought I’d check out “Pearl.”

For a little background on this new nightclub, I suggest reading a column from local TV station KHNL: “Honolulu After Dark: Building A Pearl.”

Then read another article, written only about a month ago, over at the Honolulu Advertiser: “Brand New Pearl is cultured for socializing.”

What was my opinion of Pearl?

Well, from the outside, it looks rather big. Three different bar areas, large spaces, and lots of red lighting. (At least, on the evening I went, the lights were all red.)

The rest of the nightclub? No idea. I wasn’t allowed in.

You see, Pearl has a dress code.

To enter Pearl, you must be wearing a collared shirt, nice slacks or pants, and dress shoes.

What this means is that just about anyone walking the floor in Ala Moana isn’t allowed in Pearl.

No sandals or sneakers. No t-shirts. No shorts.

A glance around the nightclub [from the entrance where I could go no further] said a great deal about this dress code: Pearl was nearly empty.

I tried to explain to the pretty hostess at the front door that even Ruths Chris Steakhouse, with a serious dress code of their own on the mainland, adjusted that dress code to fit here on the island.

She seemed unconvinced about my point. “So, you think that our dress code won’t last?”

“I don’t know,” I said, “but it seems to me that this dress code is eliminating just about everyone that shops at Ala Moana.”

And with that, I left Pearl, having never ordered that mai tai that I came in search of.

Too bad. To have three different bars available, and none of them want my money because I’m dressed too much like a local.

We’ll see how long that dress code lasts. Then maybe next time, I’ll be able to actually go IN to Pearl.

RLR

Don’t Point That At Me

So, Kim Jong Il, the dictator in charge in North Korea, decided to test launch some missiles… and it turns out that one of them was launched towards Hawaii. Or, at the very least, the South Pacific.

You want a war with America, Jong Il? Drop a missile on Pearl Harbor. Then kiss your country and your ass goodbye. Whether there will be anything left of either is hard to tell. But one thing is for sure: I can think of few other ways to unite the American people than dropping a missile on Pearl… on Hawaii. A state that is referred to as a “national treasure.” Just so you know, Jong Il.. the USS Abraham Lincoln was at Pearl the other day. And while I’m not sure if it still is, I’m pretty sure that there are a few things that go “boom!” that can be sent your way.

Kim Jong Il.. you short, little man.. you speak a great deal about the might of your missiles.. but I think your missiles, and you, need some Viagra. Perhaps then your missiles will finally stay erect for longer than 35 seconds.

Jong Il… a waste of human tissue.

RLR

Which Way Did He Go?

A very, very long way.

I’ve been busy lately with a new job. This new job is working out fine. It’s the drive that’s killing me.

As the song goes, “Give me forty acres, and I’ll turn this rig around.”

Actually, my round trip from Makaha (the Leeward side of the island) to Waimanalo (the Windward side of the island) is about 100 miles. If you think of an acre as a perfect square, that means that each side of the square is about 208 feet long.

So I guess I need 2,538 acres to turn MY rig around.

I think it’s time to move. I’d say, around 2,500 acres or so closer to work would be nice.

RLR

Floating City Arrives In Hawaii

And now, a little local news:

The cruise ship Pride of Hawai‘i made its first appearance in the state at Nawiliwili Harbor yesterday.

…

Robert Kritzman, executive vice president and managing director of [Norwegian Cruise Line] America’s Hawai‘i operations, said the Pride of Hawai‘i is a state-of-the-art ship.

The $500 million ship carries 2,500 passengers and 1,000 crew members, featuring 10 restaurants, 12 bars, a large pool area with a water slide and a health and fitness spa.

Kritzman called the ship a floating city with 3,500 people in it.

Read the entire article.

RLR

Beach Volleyball Tournament Draws Crowd

It’s not unusual to see a group of tourists enjoying the sun and sand at Queen’s Surf Beach in Waikiki. After all, it’s this beach that serves up movies and entertainment in the form of Sunset On The Beach a couple of weekends per month.

However, this Saturday morning we find four volleyball nets setup and ready for play by nine, and several all-guy and all-gal teams ready to battle it out. Some will play for money. Some will play for glory. Everyone plays for fun. ( For more, see my article at AlohaMagazine.com’s Talk Story.)

RLR

Waikiki Has Crappy Attitude

Well, crap.

Literally.

Out of the last month or so, we residents of Hawaii have had more than our fair share of rain. Most residents of Waikiki are telling me that they’ve seen rain before, but not as much as this.

When it rains here this much, bad things happen. Typically, this means that sewage overflows and runs off… into the ocean.

And while that’s bad enough, it usually only happens during serious flooding times. But that’s what we’ve had an over abundance of lately: flooding.

Somewhere amongst all the rain, a major sewage pipe failed. And because Murphy’s Law has a sense of humor, the point of failure was in Waikiki: the gold crown, top of the heap location for the tourism industry here in Hawaii.

To fix the pipe, work crews had to start digging up concrete and a couple of streets. In the meantime, because the entire city of Waikiki can’t jump on one foot all day long, toilets continued to flush.

So what they had to do was funnel the sewage into the Ala Wai Canal. Residents near the canal have raised a stink over the stink. But unfortunately, and residents know this, there isn’t much that can be done. Repairs to the main sewage pipe take time, and crews have been working day and night to fix the problem.

The main on Kaiolu Street broke during heavy rains on Friday, leading to the diversion of untreated sewage into the canal. Officials estimate that more than 10 million gallons of sewage has been pumped into the canal since Friday.

As you might imagine, notices went up to anyone that was considering getting into a boat over at the Ala Wai that the water was not fit to be in.

“Welcome to the 1880s,” Director Jeff Mikulina said of the open sewer running past Waikiki and into the ocean past some of Oahu’s most popular beaches.

Environmentalists worry about damage to the fragile coral reef and other marine life in the area.

“It’s horrible. It’s just not acceptable,” said Melody Heidel of the Sierra Club. “That’s the kind of pressure on an ecosystem that’s hard to recover from.”

Fast forward about 5 days later. The pipe was fixed today. But new tests on the waters at Waikiki Beach have returned some rather unpleasant results.

Currents change. Waters move around the island in sometimes mysterious ways.

It turns out that the surfers and tourists have been enjoying bacteria levels 200 times higher than is acceptable in the waters of Waikiki Beach. Yikes. Notices went out today that it’s a bad idea to be in the water. My heart goes out to all the tourists and locals that have been enjoying the wonderful ocean waters during the last couple of days.

Well that’s bad enough. Over off of Magic Island, an extremely popular tourist location directly across from the Ala Moana Shopping Center, bacteria levels were measured at 10,000 times higher than acceptable levels.

Wow. Talk about swimming with the fishes feces.

Health officials strongly advise the public to stay out of the water in the affected areas.

Gee, now there’s an original idea.

Rest assured, tourists that are looking forward to visiting Hawaii and enjoying the sun and the surf: You can bet that the folks in charge will do whatever it takes to clean the mess up. It just might take a week or two to get totally cleaned up.

Added lifeguard Jeff Kozlovich, “I’ll swim with box jellyfish and sharks. But raw sewage, forget it.”

The Environmental Protection Agency has been notified, and health officials will be investigating how all of this occured. Heads will roll, and changes should be forthcoming.

I guess you could say that it’s hitting the fan.

Except most of it is in the ocean right now.

RLR

Links and Credits to the Honolulu Star-Bulletin: